St Kilda beach at night


"When you know, you know"

my co worker said this to me today

and i realised I am not the only one who gets it

when you know about someone you just do

you can't really explain it beyond that

i wished i knew this in prior relationships

and wish i could more accurately explain it to others who doubt my relationship

another thing is being 'true to yourself'

i had an ex who would always say that

how often do we self talk our way into and out of things

"but we have been through so much"

"i just want it to go back to how it was"

etc

i am so bloody fortunate to learn thats not the way it is supposed to be

if you want more from a relationship

than you can most probably get more from someone else

Things that make me feel just a tad nervous:

• doing my masters-homework, placements, thesis, just being back there after being away for a couple of years.
• being poor (and in debt)-largely due to the above
• trying to organise a very small wedding with no money and a fiance who is five billion miles away
• trying to organise an additional wedding celebration thingy in hong kong (like we can even afford one wedding)
• immigration stuff-isn't it enough that we are in a genuine relationship? why is it so hard to prove?
• meeting the mother in law who speaks no English- and to which i can say only a couple of sentences too, somehow i don't think she wants me to ask repeatedly 'what would you like to drink?' or to hear 'that i love mangos'. Plus i can't even say the mother in law term that i need to address her in cantonese. And she is most probably going to automatically hate me since her son is 'supposed' to be taking care of her is moving to melb. (did i mention he still hasn't told them?)
• Toby finding a job here asap and then getting a ok-ish job a little later

there are a few other things but they seem trivial in comparison to the above

Our last meal before the big question -okonomiyaki(japanese pancake) from 'lentil as anything'

Ahhhh food

I had 1 kilo of vegan white choc chips( something that basically doesn't exist). I ate a handful and was trying to figure out what to do with the rest when my dog licorice decided for me. Somehow he managed to get through the plastic bag and open the lids of the two plastic containers and slober all over them.

"I should have them framed" he said. 

I found my site

Indiebride

with sections on keeping your name

marriage and feminism

cutting costs

choosing good non-corny songs

it couldn't be more perfect

Yipeee

i found my real ring (will show and explain later)

I am marrying my Mr Right

mum starting doing the motherly thing of helping me to organise wedding thoughts

plus

Erin's coming home soon

A good weekend

one of the highlights was volunteering to take donations for the tsunami appeal concert on sat night

Apart from the numerous requests to speak to someone famous

every call was great

it was extremely busy

and my hand felt like it would fall off (especially after already working previously in the day)

many of the callers were kids some aged as young as 7 donating their xmas money and/or pocket money

older adults who apologised for donating so little

many who were donating for a second time

and an aussie women calling from Thailand who made changes to her plans at the right time and fortunately wasn't one of phukets many victims

i left early and at 9.30pm only 3 hours after it started our call centre (one of about 6 participating) with only a couple of hundred volunteers has reached the million dollar mark

Eloping sounds good right about now

some of my 'friends' are being a tad too pessimistic for my liking

i know that part of it is because they care about me

but damn this is supposed to be a happy time for me

not me having to justify why i said yes

yes it was just a little over a year since I met Toby but when you know-you just do

and i have known for quite a while now

i also know that nothing lasts forever and nothing is guaranteed (hell my parents are divorced)

but i would still like to spent the rest of my life with him- or as long as possible

the important point though is this:

TRUST ME

that i know what I'm saying yes to, and that this is what i want

and that i couldn't be happier with him

Toby left late Sunday afternoon.

But not before asking me to marry him. I of course said 'YES' and the huge smile on his face told me that was the answer he wanted.

Above is my blue glass temporary engagement ring.

Yesterday