Crazy ass wedding plans or the non-wedding party

Disclaimer: The following post does not mean to offend everyone and if you want to spend $30,000 on a wedding like the average Australian and love all of the traditions of weddings please don't let me stop you, it's just not for me.

Mr T and I were originally going to have a wedding party a couple of years ago but were put off by the ridiculous costs, being the centre of attention, and traditions that don't match well with either of us. We also thought that the event would be kind of meaningless to us, we love each other and we are committed to making the relationship work and we don't need to stand up in front of everyone and spend lots of money to know that. Mr T moving here is more of a commitment than a wedding or a marriage. I also still think a marriage is just a piece of paper and that my non married friends are in just as committed friends as those who are married. Plus it sucks that marriage is not available for same sex attracted couples. It is ultimately a patriarchal tradition too. I could keep going on with issues to do with weddings but I think you get the point. Anyway we both still feel the same way but got thinking that we did promise our families a wedding party and that perhaps we could throw a party for everyone that didn't cost the earth and wasn't like thousands of other weddings. In fact for the first time we actually got excited by the idea.

So Mr T and I have started planning a non-wedding wedding for Jan next year. We are throwing out almost all of the traditions that go with weddings:

• No white dress or $1000 plus dress
  
• No church
• No expecting or accepting expensive gifts from guests
• No spending lots of money on the event
• No bridesmaids or groomsmen
• No bucks and hens nights
  
• No bride and groom dance
• No father and daughter dance
• No being 'given away' by my father or anyone else
• No throwing flowers to all the single women
• No garters or any other silly traditions
• No name changes for me or him
  

Instead we are having a potluck style party where guess contribute food, or whatever they want to. They can help decorate, bring flowers from their garden, help with music, help with invites, help take pics or contribute in anyway they want to in lieu of gifts. That way no one is spending lots of money on the event and hopefully it will be more personal and fun. It will be an all vegan affair and if previous potlucks are any indication than the food will be better than most catered events and show my family that vegan food is amazing.

The only problem I have is trying to find a location. I thought of a picnic, but we can't really have dancing at a picnic or have a backup plan if it rains. If anyone knows of any cheap places for hire with access to an oven and an outside area let me know. It doesn't need to be big as their will probably only be about 60 guests.

Btw, if you also not in to traditional weddings and want to get married you might like indiebride or offbeatbride. It was great to find that I wasn't the only one who had these thoughts.