Sunday, December 28, 2003

It must be love:

He went to church on xmas day by his own free will

he started reading some highly religious book she offered him

not bad for someone who needs a scientific basis to belief anything

who knows what else is coming
Emmas advice for xmas:

"Get a nice book, some music, some delicious food and a present for yourself and then try to block all that shit out for a bit."

In the past she also spoken about essentials or secret to a great sunday or something to that affect.

And I have to agree, although i might add one or two.

My secret to pure bliss:

is great music
inspiring reading material
internet
friendship
and bloody amazing food

Must have the food too.

Christmas day I got three out of five.

Not too bad.

Saturday, December 20, 2003

Whats in a name?

All of my boyfriends well the ones that lasted more than a month have had the middle name John. Yes its a fairly common name in Australia but we are talking about four different guys.

Remember the crush i spoke of a couple of weeks ago well his name is Daniel. I've also developed a crush on another Daniel. Similar situation hes about to travel overseas for quite some day and nothing will ever happen between us.

I wonder with the next Daniel i meet if things will be any different.

D and M

Between me and her.

Basically she is almost ignoring his crush seeing that his social circle is so small here.

Also one the reasons he said her liked her was because she is 'nice. According to her everyone thinks she is 'nice'.

As for me it still feels a little uncomfortable.

Hopefully its all worked out by xmas time.

Friday, December 19, 2003

Oh

He told her today how he felt.

I wonder how she will react

Sunday, December 14, 2003

Threes a crowd

Especially when one of them is your best friend/flat mate/ex boyfriend and the other is a co worker/ flat mate.

Even worse when x falls for flat mate.

Just plain difficult when the only two people you can talk to are the ones involved.

edited to add: well the only two in the same country


Friday, December 12, 2003

I havn't been deliberating not writing (as someone enquired) i've just been bloddy busy.

Its funny that when i first come to hk i was in the complete opposite situation.

More soon.

Friday, November 28, 2003

Just a thought now

But i'm thinking quite seriously about ending this blog all together.

I'm thinking about going back to writing in a journal you know the old pen and paper style, yes so old fashioned.

I'm finding more and more that i have to sensor things: there are some things i don't want everyone reading

there are things that i don't want specific people seeing

and yet i want to write and keeping two blogs (who does that anyway?) and a journal is just impossible

i'll continue my mundane blog so that family and friends can be updated if they wish.


Maybe i will end it

or maybe it just 2am thinking.

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

A crush

He lives in Sydney

Is absolutely gorgeous

and uses his phd to help animals

a pity that he literally doesn't know i exist

and for all i know he is married or gay

but still its nice to know i can have feelings like that again

its been a while!

Friday, November 21, 2003

My sis

I still remember the day that she fell asleep in my arms.

She questions the waste of energy of the city building lights which are left on all night (something i've never thought about til then).

She questions why instead of a second series of 'the bachelor' there isn't a bachelorette show?

She proudly tells people her sister is a vegan and then tells me with surprise that they don't even know what it is but she explained it to them.

She is a natural animal lover despite the fact that she has seen many pass away. (something that stopped me from being one growing up)

She is currently looking after about five little stray kittens and personally feeding them milk via a dropper until they are well enough to find new homes.

She happily replaced one of my old habits: chatting on the phone to friends for long periods while laying on MY bed with her feet up on the wall.

Unlike her big sister she has musical ability, can sing, dance, and play the piano.

She has a weird sense of humour.

She has several admirers and one persistent one.

She will happily chat away with one of mine or my brothers friends as if they are her own.

And she not even out of primary school.

Shes not even a teenager.

The world better look out.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Thoughts

From my death bed

or rather drugged state.

Do you ever have those moments in your life where you wake up, read something, or just something happens and you start questioning everything about your life right down to who you are and what are you doing with your life?

I'm obviously having one of those now. Partly due to the fact that i feel like a zombie trapped inside all sick and drugged up for days with no real stimulation.

These thoughts seem to frequent more since reading Girlfriend in a coma by Douglas Copeland (sp?).

I mean I don't think its necessarily a bad thing.

I think questioning is good.

Things need to be questioned and more often if you ask me.

Somehow though questioning your own life, and what personal accomplishments you've made is different though.

I don't have the answers right now

maybe when the effects of the speed i mean pseudoephedrine dies down i will.

Monday, November 17, 2003

I think i'm possibly cursed

Saturday, November 15, 2003

Imagine:

Having a cold which basically consists of a irritating cough, headache and runny nose which is blown so many times your nose appears to look something like Rudolf.

Eating some bad bad Indian food which resulted in you staying up most of the night with major stomach cramps, vomiting and unmentionable problems in the nether regions.

Then waking up at 7.30am after very little sleep to leave for work and as your leaving inform your flatmate of your sickness and then requesting that if they get a chance can they get some toilet paper, peppermint tea (great for cold and stomach) and get some plain rice when they get some dinner.

Imagine working for 9 hours with pretty much all of the above symptoms present (minus vomiting) in addition to feeling quite weak. The children tease you that you have Sars and ask why your nose is red (don't you love their honesty?)

Then you leave work finally after what seems to be like the longest working day of your life and wanting nothing more than to curl up in front of the TV or even bed with plain rice.

You call your flat mates mobile, you call home no answer on either one. Aha he is probably buying plain rice to be ready when i get home like the sweetie he is.

Half way through the 30 minute journey home your mobile rings and he asks you to come to mutual friends place for dinner. You very politely explain that this is most likely not a good idea because of your sickness.

Obviously no rice for me.

You finally arrive home only to reach into your bag and find no key.

You call flat mate, he promises to leave friends and will be home in 45 minutes.

You wonder around to a restaurant where you order plain rice much to the confusion of staff.

1 hour later and over 12 hours since you left home your flatmate arrives and you finally walk in the door feeling like walking death.

Well at least there is toilet paper.

No such luck

Sleep now!

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Guess who is going back to Australia to live?

And no its not me

Well not quite yet anyway

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

Why i have so few belongings

Well i'm pretty much always been poor.

Mostly due to the fact that:

a) i've been a student for so long

b) what little money i do have is mostly spent on food.

And no its not that i'm a vegan.

I just love my food,

and i need my convenience foods from time to time.

I often pay more for the product if it tastes slighter better.

The combination of health food (expensive) and junk food (expensive) really adds up.

Its all about priorities you see and food is pretty high up there.

Monday, November 10, 2003

Over drinks on sat night with a friend from Melbourne.

I recapped the last four- five months since we last really spoke.

I had trouble explaining choices, why they were made and even what i was thinking at the the time.

I guess thats the thing about irrational choices.

Rational you looks back and can't see at all.

Friday, November 07, 2003

Ways to get a gal to notice you.

Persist, persist and when that fails do your research.

Find out what she cares about (in my case veganism) and use it to show her you care.

I was wrong about H he really is putting up a good fight.
Matrix kind of day

Just got back from watching Matrix Revolutions.

Overall it was pretty good however i would have preferred more face to face combat.

And just got a an email form a friend about The Meatrix.

Check them both out!

Sunday, November 02, 2003

Ok sat night and i feel like writing about a hundred things but i'll settle for 10.

1. I need to change my hair it has faded to this terrible mousy colour. I need to change it asap. Either lighter or darker. I'm leaning towards darker. Amber my lovely hairdresser friend if you find yourself reading my blog: what should i do or rather when can you fly over? Once i get the colour sorted it out i will cut it. I have been thinking about going shorter for some time now but not sure if i'm ready short short just yet. The one thing that has prevented me from doing it so far is i don't think that i have the sort of face that looks best with short hair. You know: pretty, long cheekbones, small nose etc. Which reminds me of point number two.

2. Happy birthday Erin I really wish i could have got you something. In fact i was planning on getting you something from your Amazon wish list as soon as i discovered that you had one which was about three weeks ago (when i added you to my friend list). But i'm afraid i don't have the cash. Still your obviously still in my thoughts and i hope you get to eat lots of yummy food and relax with no work for your birthday. Also make sure you check your mail.

3. I was being watched tonight on the mtr and it got me thinking what would i be thinking if it was me observing me. Ok here goes:

She seems so engrossed in her book, but then the mtr stops and she folds the page and closes the book. What a terrible way to treat a book. But then she re- opens the book as if she couldn't keep away, or maybe she realised that there was still such a long way to go and so boring without the book. She smirks to herself half way through a page (in the country where facial expressions are to be kept neutral but then she is a gwaipo) and then seems to realise that she's smiling reading a book because she looks up as if to see if anyone has noticed and the man across is smiling at her: yes he seen it. She smiles embarrassingly. I wonder what made her smile like that. Maybe it took her back to a happier time, maybe she thought of the one, maybe it was a happy ending to a sad chapter; maybe it was a funny joke in the book, maybe she just discovered who the killer is. She reads for a little longer and while she doesn't smile with her mouth, her eyes deceive her by crinkling in the corners just like a child does when it smiles. She obviously happy about something i wonder if just the book or her life. She looks up as the mtr stops again and folds the page again. Such disrespect for a book she's obviously enjoying. She hops on to the platform and because she is taller than most she slowly disappears into the crowd .

4. Being alone is great. I don't just mean being single (although i am enjoying that especially at the moment) but some time away from friends and family. I so strongly recommend traveling by yourself as much i hate being away my friends and family. I've felt like i've got to know myself so much better. Although i still at a loss to what i will do career change. Also much to my surprise i enjoy living by myself. I know i don't technically live by myself but Michael is here so infrequently that it feels like it.

5. I've learnt to let go. I've replaced alot of my anger towards people who have hurt me to actually worrying about them. I started being reasonable and asking why they did the things they did rather than how it affected me.

6. Remember H i'm sure i've spoke about him before (too lazy to link back though). Well i think he has finally gave up. It was wimpy of me i know but i purposely didn't answer some of his calls; and turned every single offer for various different outings (party, hiking, shopping) since he has got back. But then he never formally asked me out. As perfect as he is or seems it just doesn't seem right, well not now anyway (i've learned never to say never).

7. Am i thinking about cooking and food to much if i actually think in my head of describing a small section of the crowd as a teaspoon?

8. I'm actually going to miss somethings about Hong Kong when i go back. I don't know why this took so long to sink it.

9. Can i be called highly predictable when i call a restaurant and order and they say miss kristy yes? pickup? and its generally on a sat night oh yes and its always the same dish and rice. Well in my defense. They only have one vegan option and two its the closest restaurant to me for a quick pick up on a sat night (the busiest and most tiring working days for me: 9.5 hours of jumping and down and playing animated kristy). The rest of the week i assure you as i try to assure myself that i am highly unpredictable and as i stated elsewhere so unpredictable i need do grocery shopping at least every second day.

10. Now that my working visa has come through, and i can actually earn money rather than spent someone else's. I can start doing some of those things that inspired me to come here in the first place like wing chun. About bloody time

Saturday, November 01, 2003

I'm treating myself to some choc chip ice cream today.

I think i've earned it for two things this months.

One asking for help (in the form of borrowing money) something i absolutely hated but if i didn't I would have starved to death by now.

And today I confronted my boss about being short changed about my pay by about $1,000 hk dollars (approx au $200).
Where in the hell ...?

Do i get all my energy?

And no its not the sugar apart from fructose i'm sugar free (well for the moment)

I'm really not sure what i am supposed to do with it at the moment.

When i can afford to i will buy some runners and then start running.

And then wing chun

Some hiking.

Also maybe some yoga.

You think i would use it all on the children but nah.

Stu has named this phenomena: pogo stick kristy.

When there is just so much energy i almost burst.

Dancing

Maybe i will use it all up dancing.

It worked last weekend.

Friday, October 31, 2003

Travel

used to be all about listening to music

now its all about people watching and reading

Thursday, October 30, 2003

The type of thinking only a friend can inspire

I've been thinking alot since Nicks call

I called him to find out all the details yesterday.

He is so completely happy.

He also had alot to say about my love life.

Lots of compliments or rather insults towards the latest objects of my affection.

And lots of home truths about and me and relationships.

Damm it sometimes i hate it when friends know you that well.


Sunday, October 26, 2003

So unlike me

Tipsy from beer of all things ( i never drink beer)

ears ringing

muscles sore from dancing

but it was a fun day all the same

at rock it

Saturday, October 25, 2003

See previous post

Michael thinks that i was so shocked about the news of him getting married because he was one of my backups.

You know if we are both single by age ... then we will get together.

Huh

Not that it matters

But I have other backups

Two

Correction one.

The problem is you make these pledges at a age where you think 30 is old.

Now 30 is not that far away.

Well for my backup friend.

I've got plently of time

right?

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Oh my

One of my best friends is getting married.

Hes going to be a father.

I probably shouldn't be shocked by this.

It seems that everyone (friends, cousins) is getting married recently.

And him especially.

We always said he would be the first.

The silly thing is i had to ask who it was?

Since he always has a different girlfriend each time we speak.

He's like a female version of me in so many ways.

So much so that he can get on my nerves.

But i love all the more for it.

I shouldn't be in as much shock over this as i am.

I think its hitter me harder because i'm not there with him to celebrate.

I wasn't there to here how he proposed, any of the planning, or how he felt when he found out that she was pregnant.

I'm not there to go out with all the boys.

And i'm not even sure if i can be back for the wedding.


Congratulations Nick!


Sunday, October 19, 2003

A few days later

You know how smokers always want a smoke when they drink.

if there was anyway i could get chocolate right now i would.

I would marry the man/woman that could get me chocolate right now.

I would pay big money for some dark chocolate right at this second.

Never mind that i could just wait till tomorrow.

Yeh i might just have myself a little addiction.

Bloody banana on toast it is

Hmmm.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

No what?

Ok i'm going to test my willpower

and attempt to give up sugar at least for a little while

Which unfortunately includes my new found love: chocolate chip ice cream

On the bright side there is no vo cake to tempt me.

I will however need to keep it quiet.

I mentioned it a couple of weeks ago to Michael and he threatened to kick me out.

You see he remembers about a year when the doctor advised me to go off sugar (even fruit juice) how terrible it was or rather i was. I have a fond memory of him getting up at about 2am and rushing to the kitchen to make me banana on toast (the only form is sugar i was allowed) in the hopes of um settling me.

I remember shaking, and maybe some slight irritability.

I also remember that it was pretty bloody hard.

Its the closest to a drug addiction i will ever come.

Wish me luck folks i'm sure i will need it.
I did it

I had heard of people doing it


and i thought why not?


It felt a little bit naughty


it was all gooey


and stuck to the roof of my tongue


but i'm sure i will do it again


I have nothing but praise


for eating Peanut Butter straight from the jar.

Friday, October 10, 2003

Out with the old in with the new

He has been back in the country not much more than 24 hours and there has already been three messages, an attempt at a phone call, and a promise he will call again tommorrow night.

Yet on the other side of the world an old friend has refused to speak to me once again and i've finally gave up trying.

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Rest in peace

Logan

pal to Marisa

sibling to Mulder

lover of vegan food
Spit in two

I feel like there are two Kristy's

well i'm sure there are many more: its a pretty common name.

No seriously. There is me during the day who runs around, meeting people for lunch, cooking, reading, watching tv and just well living a normal relatively carefree day.

Something seems to happen at night time though, because things start to get a little lonely and i tend to think, over- analyse and contemplate what the hell i am going to do next.

As a result even when i'm sleep deprived i can't seem to sleep til about 1, 2 or lately 3am.

God help me once i start working.

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Much more than words

Blushes

Thank you Emma you've made my day!

Sunday, October 05, 2003

I want to go see this:

THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES

anyone in HK want to accompany me or am i destined to go by myself?

Friday, October 03, 2003

Ok everything is looking relatively positive for the moment.

So in hopes of capturing the moment i figure i will write about it.

Now nothing major has happened but its the little things like:

I have lunch plans tomorrow with my new veg friends who promise to show me another health food store (a rarity here)

I'm going to a concert tomorrow night (don't really know much about it but still...)

I made this really yummy dinner: i found a new comfort food: peanut pasta.

I was reminded of how amazing of a friend Michael is (big hugs tend to do that).

Erin has internet again: it kind of reminded me that everyone is not that far away. (now if only i could convince more friends to have blogs)

I'm going to Shenzhen (across the border) on sun again and i might even have female company this time. At the very least i won't have a vegetarian bashing like last time (someone trying to start an argument with me about how boring, unhealthy blah blah vegetarianism is).

I printed out a gorgeous photo of my little sis.

I'm so in love with the views out my window.

I continued reading this great book (don't know why i stopped).

I finally drafted a letter (i'm contacting some companies here to find out which products are suitable for vegans on behalf of one of a veg organisation here)

I finally sent a postcard to a friend and birthday card to my grandmother.

The apartment is clean, and has been for a few days straight.

Maybe thats it clean room clean mind...

Nah

It might also have something to do with the fact that i might be coming home for xmas (yippppay)

Now if only my working visa could go through !

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Sometimes i feel like my life resemblances George Orwells 1984.

I just feel like shaking people.

I'm just so sick of people not asking questions.

Yes i'm just a tad annoyed today.

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Its a conspiracy i tell you.

I live on the 11th floor and yet i've never hopped into the elevator and had someone get off at any of the floors below me.

Friday, September 26, 2003

Blogger Etiquette

Since I'm not working YET.

I've had plenty of time up my sleeve (where did that expression come from btw: what can you keep up your sleeve anyway, other than perhaps a tissue?).

I've been reading alot of blogs and found two things well two recurring things about other peoples blogs that really annoy me.

1: Apologizing for not posting for a while, in fact not posting for a while (ok there are exceptions like no internet connection) really bugs me too. Why have a blog if you see it as some sort of obligation that you need to apologise to? If you are to have a blog you can't just not post for like three months and then come back.

2:No 'about me' section (ok sometimes its not needed like on mine) but its hard when you find someones blog and you have no idea what they are talking about, its really bugging me at the moment because i keep finding all these Hong Kong blogs and i want to know what these people are doing in Hong Kong and how long they have lived here and i really can't be bothered reading too many old posts to find out.


Thursday, September 25, 2003

Flashback

Him: "Are you angry at me?"

Me: "a little"

If he only knew.

How angry I was.

But not any more.

Now i just feel sorry for him (sincerely).

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Now i'm not male but still i'm insulted by so many of the male characters on many of the American sitcoms.

You know the sterotypical dumb, sexually obessed, incapable of looking after themself, more interested in watching sport than anything else.

Speak out men, is this something that bothers you? Or are you happy to be displayed as useless, rather idiotic beings with three things on your mind (sex, beer and sport)?

Saturday, September 20, 2003

Seeking what exactly?

About two years ago

My uncle took his life.

I don't like to use the expression "he commited sucide" (but thats a whole other discussion).

He left behind three sons, one who was only about three at the time, one who was about 20 and one my age.

Because of this, and other exposure i've had to sucide (degree, crisis counselling etc) i get quite angry when i hear people dismiss ones talk of sucide as merely attention seeking.

Even those who talk about sucide in a way which would be deemed as 'attention seeking' need help, need compassion, need someone. Yes they might be seeking attention but this expression seems to under-estimate the fact that they are crying out for some sort of help.

Not everyone who talks about sucide will attempt it, however almost every one who has killed themself will have spoken about it to someone.

Comments about sucide, whether its the first or the hundredth time they have mentioned it need to be taken seriously.



Monday, September 15, 2003

I sometimes feel like he is training me.

I'm not sure when he become teacher and i student.

Not training that is obvious but rather training that bugs the hell out of me. It reminds me a little of karate kid and Mr Miyaki.

Hopefully it will lead to more pratical and obvious training, in the mean time i will continue mumbling under my breath while i wax on and wax off.

Sunday, September 14, 2003

I have a new friend in HK

He's intelligent (will head off to Harvard soon to do complete his second masters degree), cute, got a great body (no i haven't seen it but he has to will his workout schedule), successful (setting up his own branch of consulting firm in HK), friendly, considerate, and knows how to make great dhal.

Its just I'm a little worried that once he gets back from his overseas business trip i will have to use the whole 'i've just got out of a relationship...' line. I am so flattered but well things are just far too complicated to introduce someone new to my life now. Now i could say that to him but i'm hoping it won't get that far.

How do i not send him the wrong signal without coming across as cold, aloof or just plain bored?

Friday, September 12, 2003

I want to know whats happening with Mr Singapore

what happened after that night?

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Veganism in HK (yes i pre-warned all you carcass munchers so that you skip over this post)

Someone said to me you will come back from HK as a meat eater again.

Well sorry missy but your wrong.

Sure its hard being a vegan here.

Especially with chicken stock, and oyster sauce added to most of the vegetarian dishes here and some restaurants not even serving one vegetarian dish.

Its made me recap what veganism means to me, what i'm willing to do for the cause.

Its pretty amazing when you think about it. I'm willing to do everything i can to avoid animal products in a country that loves freshly killed flesh. Even if it means being able to eat only one crappy dish at some restaurants. Even if means missing out on sharing dishes with my flesh loving counterparts. Even if it inconvenient, and hard sometimes. It also means re learning which products are vegan and where they are stocked.

It makes me realise how easy veganism is in Melbourne. People, people, people with the great vegan food we have in Melbourne and so readily available you really have no excuse. Just go to vegetarian orgasm and try their deserts i guarantee you won't be disappointed (ahhh i miss their desserts).

I've also realised the power of surrounding yourself with other vegans. I met two other vegans today and it was great. They introduced me to all sorts of great vegan food available here. We have some great vegan products from the US i've never seen before like luna bars, tropical choice chocolates, and my favorite; what i found last night chocolate- choc chip ice cream.

I need to work hard here at maintaining my vegan lifestyle here, cook in crappy conditions, go to the special supermarkets to get some specality vegan foods. Buts its so worth it. I really do think i will leave Hong Kong as a better cook and as Tanya (from How it all vegan cookbook) puts it i will be a 'better vegan warrior' for it.

Monday, September 08, 2003

You think you know someone and then they come along and kick you when your down

its only then that horrible realisation sinks in that you never knew them at all.

One of my favourite quotes by Martin Luther King Jr is: "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

now i know its true.
Random

(At the request of my good friend stu)

Some random things about me:

* growing up i was never a big animal lover despite the fact that i had several dogs and cats and even a horse at one stage (this changed).

* i like to talk in random bursts, and go back and forth between topics

* i love getting drive through car parking spots

* i prefer summer

* i have far too much energy (perhaps thats why i have this blog)

* i'm a supermaket snob: i love looking into other peoples baskets and i'm sure you can tell alot about a person this way.

* i'm a little scared of mushrooms

* i have a terrible fear of spiders but will never conquer fear even if i was given the choice

* i can be quite spontaneous yet highly predictable with those close to me

* i occasionaly make up words and expressions


but the again i guess this isn't too random if its all about me



If my life was a book.

Right now would be the start of a new chapter.

All because of one choice made by me.

Friday, September 05, 2003

Today was great.

Today i met so many new people.

I made contacts with the sorts of organisations that i want to volunteer for.

I was reminded that i'm not the only one that feels this way about animal welfare.

I cried (at the footage of severe cruelty to animals in Asia), i laughed, i smiled, i felt the adrenlin pumping and i certainly felt inspired.

But then...

I come home to an empty apartment and realised that i have no one to go home to and share my enthusiam.

No one in two senses, because i'm living alone at the moment, and i'm single really single for the worst time in a long time.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

What is life without change?

My blog has changed.

Maybe i have changed.

I notice i don't get any comments anymore.

I get emails regarding the site occasionaly but thats it no comments.

Perhaps it has become too serious, too much like a real journal.

Too much like me bouncing my thoughts out there.

If you don't like it go here or to someone elses blog all together.

Because this is my little space and i'm going to write want i want.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Now thats out the way

This morning i realised that the whole rolling around in bed, and blissful half sleep-half awake state isn't just confined to cold weather. I feel it here. It really is a beautiful feeling.

I should grap hold of it and appreciate these moments of getting up whenever i feel like it for once i start working it will all change.

Sunday, August 31, 2003

Becoming Mellow

I think its happening to me in my old age.

Ok so i'm not old but i certainly am starting to lose the edge.

I had a weird call tonight on my mobile phone.

Some woman (at least i think it was a woman) called me tonight and started asking me all sorts of questions while in the past i may have just hung up on her tonight i talked to her. I didn't answer all her questions but i aksed her why she wanted to know. It turns out that her boyfriend had my number in his phone. Now i've never heard of her boyfriend. So rather than say something unconstructive i simply and camly explained that while i know whats its like to be cheated on she has the wrong person and besides i live in HK there is no way i'm managing a long distance relationship with someone who has a partner.

I talked to her for about 15 minutes, poor gal having her heart broken by her boyfriend (don't i know what thats like). I waited till she had said all she could and ended the call despite the fact that it was in fact costing me hefty international roming costs.

Thursday, August 28, 2003

I found them today:

Popcorn
Braggs
Flaxseed oil

Yes vegan essentials

God bless City Super
The dating game

I've been accused of being a serial long term dater.

I've been proposed to twice.

The other two people i dated(seriously) spoke about spending the rests of their life with me.

Then how can i be sacred of commitment you ask?

Because of those exact relationships.

Monday, August 25, 2003

Sometimes what you want is right in front of you.

But more surprising is the realisation that what you want is actually inside yourself.

Friday, August 22, 2003

In a bad way

I saw him laying on the ground while people walked over him as if he didn't exist.

Bruised.

T-shirt ripped so that there was hardly any material left on his upper body.

Bandages on his right leg.

Blood.

Crutches.

and all i can do is ask why?

Thursday, August 21, 2003

A confession

No doubt inspired by the movie 'Message in a bottle' i wrote a letter and placed it inside a bottle and threw it into the ocean. I'm not sure what details i left about myself, hopefully very little. It was a silly thing to do, my girl friend and myself giggled while i threw it but deep down it was my way of letting go of a relationship when i was about 18.

Someone once said "Love's a full contact sport...you play it long enough and two things are bound to happen: 1)you'll get hurt, 2) you'll hurt someone else."

No one said that both could happen in a matter of a couple of months.

I feel a little like that teenager today (hence the love quote).

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

Freudian text?

I have a terrible habit of sending a text message to the wrong person, the very wrong person!

Telling the friend that is bugging you just how much they are annoying you instead of telling someone else, telling your ex partner that you had a great night with the person you are currently seeing instead of telling the person you are seeing and many other awkward situations.

I wonder though whether its a similar phenomena to a Freudian slip. Perhaps you unconsciously want the person you accidentally sent the text message to know, or you are unconsciously thinking so much about that person that your fingers select their number instead of the person it is intended for.

Monday, August 18, 2003

Thursday, August 14, 2003

Since when...

have I listened to other peoples advice anyway

"Heavy rains May-September make the season a bad time to visit. From May-October, typhoons with strong winds are likely."

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

"You've grown up Kristy"

This coming from someone who held my hand about 4 years ago after one of the most traumatic experiences in my life.

From someone else this would seem patrionising but i understood (and no he was not referring to me leaving the country.)

We have a marriage pact he reminded me, if in 8 years we are both alone then...

It was strange thinking about what has happened since we first become friends, what the experience did to me, who i've become.

I felt sad because he was and has been one of my greatest friends and i will not see him for a while.

I felt sad as we talked about leaving my little sister.

I felt sad about leaving tonight.

But thankful for our friendship, for the 'old times', for knowing that there is at least one person who was there, who saw what I did, what i went through, the struggle and the resiliency.

And thankful for he cared enough to try to give me a lecture.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

I feel like i'm cheating on you blog #1

Here is the more mundane Hong Kong Blog

Watch out though for lots of mushy family/friend posted comments inlcuding comments from my younger sister and cousins.

Monday, August 11, 2003

Lost

My filofax.

Major diaster.

Organisation of everything gone.

Please family, friends, strangers if you see a non leather charcoal colour filofax please return it asap.

Sunday, August 10, 2003

Whats a blogger to do.

My little sister (whos only 12) knows about my blog, at the moment she not interested in reading it. However, last night she announced to all my family that they can read my blog when i'm away and even went to say the address (shes knows the bluer than pink part). This blog reveals more than i want my whole family to know however the idea of sending many group emails isn't appealing either. Therefore i've been thinking about starting another blog. A not so personal one that i give to all my friends and family it also saves me from answering the same questions repeatedly. Great in theory but do i really want two blogs? And then how do i choose which information goes where.

Does anyone know anyone who has two blogs, what do you think? Or should i just stick to group emails?

And then if i do start a new one what do i call it?


Friday, August 08, 2003

Urgent

I want to talk to you now

but of course i can't and i wonder if i will ever get up the momentum again to say everything i want to say in this moment of clarity.

I wonder why now when I feel so weird due to the combination of tiredness and caffeine high that i have such certainty.

Maybe the moment will pass and you will never know.

Maybe your not supposed to know.

Its friday night


around 10pm and i'm home alone. Eating pumpkin hummus and tomato dip with turkish bread in front of my computer whilst getting ready for bed. I'm sorry if your perception of that says boring or sad or something like that because i feel indulgent (i get to double dip) and relatively content and the opportunties are there to do something else but i don't want to. Besides i'm tired and i'm starting to think i won't get many opportunities like this for the rest of the week and this is after all my final week (providing no further problems with flight, working visa blah blah).

Thursday, August 07, 2003

Choices

Its seems so strange to me that my leaving for Hong Kong comes down to one choice now either leave on the friday night and arrive early sat morning or leave sat morning and arrive sat evening.

Arghhh getting excited and scared now.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Armed with a Vegan passport

I'm now ready

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

Ani Difranco





Which Ani DiFranco Album Are You?

Brought to you by Tracie


"You are to the teeth. You're opionated, somewhat stubborn... you like the world to know where you stand on everything, whether they want to know or not. Some might call you imflammatory, others enlightened. But isn't everything just a matter of perspective?"

Thats a bit harsh isn't it?

I wonder how much it has to do with my current mood.

Which one are you?

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Ahhhh

I got clarity this morning. Its such an amazing thing. I feel that i'm one step closer to working out what i want to do career wise and strangely enough it didn't come from looking into career options. It came from waking up and thinking what a wonderful person one of my friends is. I won't out them since i know they don't want the attention but without even realising it, without even trying they taught me a powerful lesson. Wow actually a few lessons. They didn't offer advice last night when we spoke but just a ear and some time. I realised the beauty of unconditional love something many people miss out on unfortunately, i realised that as a person the best i can do is be all the qualities i believe in, i realised that if i want to make some sort of difference it must be expressed through love, kindness, and compassion not through frustration, sadness and anger, i realised that looks can be deceiving, i realised that i can do whatever i want including combining the areas that i care about the most, i realised how empowering one person can be on your life, i realised that sometimes the not spoken is more powerful than words and more importantly i realised what i want to do for the causes i care about.

I plan on spending the next six to twelve months in Hong Kong discovering the fine points of that plan and making it happen.

Thank you friend just for being you!

Monday, August 04, 2003

Family

In the space of one hour:

Nan C: You can't eat that (motioning to the popcorn that i'm eating) it must have something in it thats not vegan.
Nan D: Maybe she'll come home with a nice Chinese man or a nice Chinese woman (huh?)
My little bro: what is that crap? (motioning towards my cd playing in the car)

Yes i think i might be the black sheep of the family.

Sunday, August 03, 2003

Random stuff

I'm better now and officially single.

I now have my glasses and today i will start wearing them.

I also leave to go overseas soon and it has just started to hit me.

I have two gold class tickets to use.

The sun is shining

Life my friend is good!

Thursday, July 31, 2003

Being sick to me means:

an association with my past
having to ask for help
watching bad tv during the day
frustration
feeling cut off from the world
taking pain killers (something i never do)
being unproductive
loss of interest in food
not sleeping properly
drinking sports drinks
boredom
feeling yucky
forcing myself to eat/drink
pain
longing for someone (to look after me)
the longest days/nights
feeling hot in the middle of winter

did i mention being pessimistic?

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Your health really is the most important thing

I'm writing this from my room as a one very sick kristy. Hoping that i a) i can get through this post without rushing to the bathroom to vomit for the hundredth time and b) i can keep down the one piece of toast that i am eating as i type.


Wish me luck!

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

Not just yet...

I'm not leaving, well not this friday as expected

and probably not for another a month

Working visa process, don't you just love it?

Saturday, July 26, 2003

We are what we eat!

I wonder if most people realise who or what they are supporting by choosing certain foods. No I'm not just talking about animal products although i could quite easily go into a conversation about the dairy industry and battery hens i will refrain from doing so (pats herself on the back).

It seems that people are developing more of a conscience about supporting or rather not supporting other products such as clothing (from sweat workshops) or beauty products (which test on animals).

However, food related companies should also be examined. With McDonald's being a obvious example. But then there are companies such as Kraft (owned by Phillip Morris), and Nestle (associated with the life-threatening marketing of infant formula).

Not to mention Genetically Engineered Food, do we really want to support this?

We live in a country where we are lucky enough to choose from array of labels, and types of foods.

Furthermore, organisations such as Infact have shown how successful wide scale boycotting.

There really is power in choice. But what are we choosing?

Friday, July 25, 2003

The latest update:

"Under such circumstance, I'm afraid we have to wait for the visa so the
commencing date will be postponed to Sept"

what the ???

I called her she said shes not sure, so i guess it will either be in a week or a month that i go.

And tonight just happens to be the night of my farewell drinks.

Ahhh life is strange some times.

Thursday, July 17, 2003

No turning back now.

I'm going, i handed in my letter of resignation yesterday and sent off the contract.

Two weeks left in this beautiful country: now i just need to make sure i enjoy it!


Tuesday, July 15, 2003

some thoughts about my blog from another:

"For me the problem with that is as someone who knows Kristy very well, these Blogs don't tell the story I know. They don't tell the much more interesting and and wonderful story that is the real world of Kristy.

So while I am honoured to be outed in this blog, for those that know 'us' Kristy and I, rest assured life is a lot more interesting than these blogs give credit for. "

Now i wonder who that was from?

Hes got a good point (although probably a bit biased), its hard to keep along the fine line between exposing all the ups and downs of my crazy life, and mentioning only the mundane boring things of my life.

What do you think? Should i stick more to the mundane dull things or expose my self emotionally?

Monday, July 14, 2003

Ways to waste my last day before going back to work.

Read favourite blogs, surf the internet, and send various emails.

Have conversation with Mark about such trivial matters as the origin of the word: minestrone.

Eat slightly melted Soylati Mocha flavoured ice cream in front of the heater while watching Three guys and a girl (btw my brother looks and acts like one of the guys).

Vow that i should stop procrastinating and do various household tasks including clean room but quickly dismiss thoughts.

Talk to representative about the job in Hong Kong.

Pick up brother from St Kilda

Have long almost too hot shower.

Read a chapter of Harry Potter.

Spend equal amounts of time talking myself into and out of signing the contract for the job.

Send several text messages to selected individuals.

Check out my little sister pink and purple braces that were put on her mouth today.

Arrange dinner date with my fav dinner pal: Marisa.

Talk myself into accepting the job.

Start spending equal amounts of time worrying and becoming excited about the prospect that I could be living and working in another country in less than three weeks.

Start missing Australia just thinking about it.

Start devising a way to break it to my employer that i will be leaving in less than three weeks.

Start thinking, 'Surely I am crazy, what the hell am I doing?'

Write this blog entry.

This evening will probably consist of dinner with Marisa where I discuss the ins and outs of the job offer, veganism, and how much i'll miss whatever food we'll be eating. Followed by another conversation with Mark, more emails, and organisation of tomorrows lunch, some more net surfing and many thoughts devoted to this major decision I have to make by tomorrow.

Ahhh I think its amazing that my life can be so boring and so exciting at the same time.

Saturday, July 12, 2003

The pros and cons of accepting the position

Pros:
* I have always wanted to try teaching English
* The experience of living overseas
* I love Honky children (they have to up there on the list of the worlds most adorable children)
* A full time job that pays more than what I can earn here
* I get to learn (finally) Wing Chun from where it originated
* I have no real career prospects here
* I have no major commitments that i have to get out of here
* I can learn how to cook Tofu the way they do
* Get to spend time in amazing monestries
* If i don't go now I may never go
* I will have at least one friend in the country
* Efficient PT system
* Travelling to China, and Macau.

Cons
* Vegetarian Orgasm
* I might miss out on experiencing the new location of Vegetarian Orgasm and their deli.
* Family and friends
* I will be living in the same country as my ex boyfriend (although i'm sure there will be no problem being friends)
* I will be locked into at least a six month contract
* Missing out on fruit and veggies that actually taste the way they should
* Not speaking cantonese (at least to begin with)
* Fruit juice, not cordial which they label as fruit juice
* The experience of being a gwaipo (term associated with female 'ghost person')
* Having to live in a country that proudly displays dead animal out the front of most restaurants
* Being in the same country as the central market and other terrifying 'food' markets (see here)
* Various smells
* Pollution

Friday, July 11, 2003

To keep with the general theme of my life at the moment...

I was just offered a job teaching English OS (well it depends on my passport-but no prob then).

Accomodation, return trip, ok wage, and what seems like good conditions.

So now what...

Well if I say yes then they want me there by August 1.

Oh my ...

Monday, July 07, 2003

Dating friends...

A small study (an honours thesis) at my University found that when men and women are friends there are a few general rules. If both male and female friends are single than males tend to think 'why not...' providing they find them attractive, women on the other hand tend to think ' i don't want to ruin the friendship'. Of course this isn't always the case and if one or both are in relationships it completely changes the dynamic.

As a women with more male friends than female friends this has happened to me a few times, well three to be specific . Please bare in mind that i have plenty of platonic relationships with men too. Each time I've used the whole 'i don't want to ruin the relationship' line apart from this last one.

Mark

Dating a friend is certainly different. I cringe now when i think I've all the details he knows of my life, my sex life, relationship problems, insecurities and so on. There's no being fake, pretending, holding back, or mystery (well only a little).

Having said that i have no regrets so far. We have such an amazing friendship and a relationship between us seems like a natural progression right now.

Sunday, July 06, 2003

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it" (Ferris Buellers day off)

Choices made so far.

Mr M are no longer together (if your confused: don't worry so was I) and i've learnt that we are more compatible as friends.

Psy career on hold for at least six months. I only made that decision today and i'm still coming to terms with it.

Now only one or two more big decisions to make.

Lets hope thats it for life changing decisions this year.

Sunday, June 29, 2003

McDonalds opening their kitchen doors this weekend?

Yes i just seen the advert.

I wonder if the fact that their profits are falling have anything to do with it. I'm interested in going and asking the following questions:

'so are you eggs free range?'

'what are the conditions of the cattle and chicken before they are slaughtered for your burgers?'

'are you still using beef flavouring to prepare your french fries?'

'how much land exactly are you using to raise cattle for your burgers?'

Oh I love Eric Schlosser for exposing all that he does in his book Fast Food Nation see here for some insight.

Whats wrong with Mcdonalds? See here

As the sticker in vo says 'do you want lies with that?'

Saturday, June 28, 2003

Oh Oh

I could feel it coming this morning, a cold, a sore throat something unhealthy.

I'm saying its a cold/flu/hayfever because if not its an allergy to Erin and Simons friendly cat miko. How could I be allergic to such an amazing gorgeous creature?

The worst part about all this, whatever this cold, allergy thing is i seem to have lost my taste buds. A complete nightmare for foodie me.

Thursday, June 26, 2003

I can't believe he smokes!

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

General life update?

Career, love life, wealth, travel?

mmmmmmm yeh...

All are up in the air at the moment, well actually all are hitting me in the face and pretty hard at that (ok I'm really bad at analogies). I need to make some decisions, this isn't easy for indecisive me. All are interrelated and one thing is for sure i can't stay in the situation I'm in right now.

Travel seems really appealing right now. In fact I went to the Teach international TESOL course info session the other night and I am certainly interested in teaching English and the course looks good, the expense however is a major problem. Good to see that my psy degree means being able to teach in some countries where any degree is a requirement though.

Thankfully Scott and his fiancé Jessica have asked me to housesit for them for 10 days in early July, its in whoop whoop (translate: somewhere past the airport) and look after their cat. God bless them! This means time alone, time to think, almost a mini holiday with a quiet easy to please companion.

Did i mention i also applied for the unethical job (see earlier post), yes i know... But its probably too late and theres no harm applying, right?

I just found out that my old fall back on to call centre job wont give me any work. So i now have two weeks holidays well starting on Friday and no quick way of earning cash during that period. Ahhh i can't believe i was rejected by sr# callcentre.

On the plus side though i have my health, i wonder how long it will take for that to crash from all this stress.

Yes its definitely time to start taking my multivitamins.

Monday, June 23, 2003

So now what you've been waiting to hear about:



Harry Potter. I picked up my copy on sat and only started reading it late last night. So far so good. I think its going to be a littler darker than the rest: the presence of the dementors so early on is a pretty good indicator as well as the talk of someone dying (I don't want to know who thank you very much!). Its been a while since my whole harry encounter and it feels a little like reading a letter from a friend whom i havn't heard from in a while. I read all the harry potter books one after another, so he was a pretty active part of my life for about 3 straight months, and to tell you the truth it was a little sad putting down the last one knowing that i wouldn't hear of harry (the movies don't count, they just don't do the books any true justice) for a little while.

I'm spent my first post mr m day in my pjs eating v.o cake for breakfast and its now 1.35pm yes what a productive day i'm having. I know your dying to know what the hell is happening with my love life but your just going to have to wait til i figure it out for myself.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

Second post for the day (yes my life is that stimulating)

I have a million things to do on my night off from this crazy life of mine, but rather than focusing my efforts on that. I finally added links to my blog: ta- da. Something i've been planning on doing for a while (also notice '<' missing from top left hand corner). As well as post two obviously urgent and exciting entries.

At the moment there are only three links, i do wish to add more but i plan on being quite fastidious.

So I need either more friends to start blogs, or i need to keep searching for something i don't have too much problem linking to, any suggestions are welcome.

Also, i need to change the date colour (suggestions are also welcome for this) see here or here for colour codes if you want to provide specific suggestions re: colour.

While on the subject of my precious little webspace, i just want to add that while it was intended to be very light, at times i will tend to dabble with a little complaining (form of therapy), bad jokes, story telling, and well whatever I feel like babbling on about at the time.

Now go and add your comments about either the date colour or your fav blogs.

Sell my soul?

Ok so I'm jobless, in a sense that i don't have a job that corresponds with my qualifications. Neither do many people by the sound of it. However, recently a job caught my attention which i think I would have a good chance at getting, its close, and more importantly it would allow me to get paid to finish off my probationary period.

The catch: it would mean doing work that I consider unethical.

So i didn't apply for it. Yes i will regret it each time i get paid less than i did at uni, each time that i have to struggle with money and living with my parents.

Overall though i think i made the right choice. Now i need to really focus on finding a job in my field that i don't have moral objections with, wish me luck people!

By the way, i realise your hoping for goss on the whole mr m saga but its not happening, well not yet anyway.


Saturday, June 14, 2003

Animals or babies

I went to southland yesterday with Marisa and while I was there I realised that alot of parents treat their children in the same way that the majority of people treat animals. At southland there is a playground which is all encaged, and then there was a parent who had their toddler on a leash. It also got me thinking to all the other similarities like how some parents insist of showing off their children and telling them to talk/skip etc in the same way as one would tell a dog to sit/roll/bark.

Its just wrong!

It just reinforces my thinking that some people shouldn't have children.

I've got a feeling that this week will be a pretty odd one for me (mmm wonder why...) so I want be posting for a little while.

Thursday, June 12, 2003

Ok this is relatively optimistic blog (considering the situation).

I'm glad that my body is so sensitive.

I used to hate it, and see it as a weakness. Well it is one way but in another way....

Just a little background info: I was once pretty sick, went to doctor to doctor, to specialist to specialist, put in hospital several times, and put on so many bloody drugs (of course I generallly reacted to them or they had no affect). Its no wonder I am so sceptical of doctors and just the medical profession in general. Anyhoo i eventually come across my not so orthodox doctor in camberwell who was the first to really investigate food and put me on an elimination diet, no sugar, wheat, yeast, dairy etc. And of course dairy was the cause of most of my health problems. Mind you if tested i don't come up with a lactose intolerance.

I've since discovered a lot more about the way in which my body reacts and what is good for it is and what isn't.

For quite some time Miss little sick all the time has become Miss no more sinus problems, ibs, major gastrophical problems (constant vomiting), no more feeling like crap half the time etc'. I honestly can't remember the last time i even had a cold. I claim that one towards my vegan diet however it could be just how much garlic i consume he he.

So when Miss i'm never sick anymore starts getting major pains in stomach i know somethings up, this time not food, not drugs (i'm not on any), i know that this time it is stress.
So i confront something i've been a little hetistant about and whatever the outcome i know its for the best. So thank you body for telling me that the way in which i'm handling a certain situation in not right, thank you for pushing me to face something.

Thank you!

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

I got a call this afternoon from Constable .... at the local police station. Well actually he left a voicemail. At the sounds of the introduction i panicked, nooooo who's hurt, or in trouble? .

Thankfully neither is the case. In fact he was calling to point out that I supposably forgot to pay for petrol this morning. It took me a second before I realised that my lovely mother offered to put some petrol in my car this morning (since she had borrowed the care so frequently in the last couple of days).

In the future let it be known that if you can't afford to help me out with the petrol then just tell me, there's really no need to steal it. Ha ha.

On a more boring note. I'll provide you with a quick summary of my life at the moment. I went to the ballet last night and loved it. Thanks again Mark for coming at such short notice. I'll be picking up Mr M when he arrives on sat for a week. Some interesting things were mentioned to me by my lovely friends over the weekend. Including the fact that I tend to listen to music at the moment which is stereotypically associated with lesbians eg: Ani Difranco, Fiona Apple (no I'm not planning on coming out of the closet-thanks Marisa). Also I visited Tammy and Luke and was introduced to their gorgeous baby girl Grace, ohhhhhh she really is adorable.

Friday, June 06, 2003

I found them

A pair of glasses that actually suite me. Now to the average person that would seem quite normal however I seem to have a face that doesn't suit most glasses frames. I've been searching for a pair for the last couple of years and for the last months doing some serious searching. Today I just happened to walk into a local OPSM just for a quick unplanned look and the first pair I tried on: wooolaaa.

Its amazing how happy this find has made me, ahhh the simple things in life. The only problem now is what colour, I tried on two different coloured pairs and they both suit me.


Tuesday, June 03, 2003

Peter Singer is my friend

You can add him to the list of individuals that you either love or hate but you certainly can't ignore his opinions. That is if you dare to read his confrontational writings, unfortunately most want. I admit it I was even worried because i knew that it would delve even deeper into a growing awareness that isn't exactly pretty. I of course love him for doing so, for exposing so much without getting overly emotional, for his great easy to read style of writing, and for so much more.

At the same time I must admit there is a small part of me which initially was annoyed by the rawness of his writing, the cold (almost scientific) manner in which he reports on such horrors, because his exposure of certain procedures made me cry (i don't think a book has ever make me cry), not to mention angry, particularly angry at the testing of animals for psychological purposes which I wasn't so aware of. Angry at myself for becoming a vegan for selfish health reasons initially. Angry at anyone who chooses veal at dinner, WHY would you support the "most morally repugnant" form of intensive farming still practiced???

I've tossed up with the idea of quoting sections of his book before concluding that it couldn't possibly give his work the true justice it deserves, so just go and ready the bloody book.

He inspires me to do more, just not sure what more is yet. Oh oh ...

Monday, June 02, 2003

Talk about oversleeping, I didn't get up til 2.30pm today.

Its ok though i've found a cure

Now where do I find a chute like that?

Sunday, June 01, 2003

How do get this lazy individual to start going back to the gym?

Push my buttons. Tell me that you think I'll struggle since I'm a vegan. So readers you are my witness to this dare. My male friend who also suggested that veganism is stupid has recently started going to the gym. Similar scenario to me he's tall, thin and pretty lazy. However, anyone who knows me knows that while I'm lazy I certainly don't lack energy I'm always jumping around, dancing, even skipping occasionally. So the dare is this: the first one to stop going to the gym on a regular visits (at least twice a week) owes the other one $50. Thank you friend of mine because that is exactly what i needed to inspire me to head back into the gym (that i'm currently paying memebership for), plus I could use the $50. Little does he know I was once a gym junkie or that some really great athletes of our time were veg*an (see here for a list of some) ha ha.

While on the topic of vegans, this blog has just been added to the Cool vegan site. Not sure how representative of the vegan community I am, but thank you all the same.

Saturday, May 31, 2003


Strange people in the street around the corner from where I live, two women are fascinated by watching me drive by even after I've gone past them they look back at me. I went past again on the way back about 30 minutes later their still standing there staring.

Friday, May 30, 2003


Oh fuck it.

I'm going to do the regrettable. I feel like crap right now not sadness, not anger just a state of weird trance type confusion. I don't want to think about this too much because I don't want some scientific answer or theory to explain it (yes including any psychology). I feel numb. I hate all this stuff with Mr M I need to move on or go back or something. I know what i should do and i know what I want to do but there not the same thing. I just want him in the same damm country, I want a hug.

I'm filled with so many why's most of which i don't think I want the answer to. I need time out from everything from thinking about this from trying too hard re anything to do with Mr M.

I need a holiday instead I have a busy weekend. Two parties tonight a new hair cut to match my new colour (which I love). Another party tommorrow in which i barely know anyone. A avril concert (yeha i know...)i'm taking my little sis to for her birthday present. Its going to be one interesting weekend considering my mood.

I know it will get better, I know it will sort it out. I know that next week, or tommorrow I will be different or maybe even tonight but that doesn't stop me from feeling or stop my feelings from being mine and important to me right now.




I get the feeling that anything I blog about today I will regret. So lets just leave it at: I'm confused at the moment.



Tuesday, May 27, 2003

Nutritional what?

I've just discovered nutritional yeast. Well not exactly, I've been using it for quite some time but only for a few recipes that called for it, until tonight when I finally tried it on popcorn: yummmmo

Why hasn't anyone told me about it before? (ok so maybe a few have).

So what is it you ask? I know there a probably a few of who havn't even heard of it. I can't find a adequate link to justify it right now however i will expand on it later, maybe someone else can recommend a good link. In the meantime you'll just have to check it out at the local health food store. Basically though its a vegan must have.

I watched MicroCosmos tonight as part of a fundraiser thing at RMIT . Such a amazing film, it really does foster a new respect towards all sorts of insects. Although I must admit that my fear of spiders is just as bad, if not worse after watching a spider up and close (certainly too close for comfort) capture a grasshopper. Who would have thought that a documentary about insects could contain violence, sex, and humour?


Monday, May 26, 2003

Dirt Poor

On sat a friend of mine asked me if I was interested in a room at his place which will be vacant shortly. Not only would it save me from the craziness of my family household but its also a gorgeous little house in a great location and I think he would be a pretty cool roommate too. I wanted desperately to scream 'yes, when can I move in?' Instead I had to decline the offer, sob sob.

At least while I was studying I could reply that i'm simply a 'poor student'. Now i'm just plain old POOR.
I have about $5 left til pay day on thursday and its also car expenses time of the year again. Arghhhhh.

So job hunting time again (I really do need two jobs or one better paying one).

On a more positive note though I've just realised that I have all the ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies, forget the image of the thin Kristy ha ha.

To help pass some time (without any cost) I've discovered some really odd things to do for free at Bored. Anyone else have any suggestions?





Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Gone Public

Only two people were informed initially of my blog whereabouts and that's the way I wanted it. Then I told a few others. You see one of the main reasons for starting the blog was to help maintain a long distance relationship between myself and my partner. Since we've now seperated and he added my blog address on the Australian weblogs page I figure I should tell a few others.

So welcome Amber, Bryce, Mark and whoever else comes to look at my blog.

I've also noticed that a link to this page has been added to the ever so famous Diary of a average Australian page (by the way, thank you, it makes me feel very special).

However, people if you are going to read my blog please post a comment just so that I know your there.

For the record I decided to continue the blog after the end of my relationship because I realise how much I enjoy writing it. Down the track I can see myself reading back and reflecting on what has happened over the year and besides it also allows others to know what's going on in my life (if your that bored).

Anyhow, my discovery for the night was pesto bread. I'm a big fan of various breads (well toast technically) including: garlic, sundried tomato-garlic, marmite/butter/sesame seeded combo, and herb bread. If anymore can think of another good bread idea please let me know.

Monday, May 19, 2003

I did it!

Yes I survived without technology for 40 hours. I was forced to survive without my beloved computer even longer since it decided on Thursday that it didn't want to start up: $130 and four days later and we're finally reunited. It wasn't easy people and was I quite bored on Sat.

I was told this weekend that I'm 'the blogging type'
'what type?' I replied
'well you know.... your open and.... friendly'
Not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or not.

A very special thanks to my amazing Russian (ha ha) friend Amber for putting up with lots of complaining from me on friday and for helping me to find a new black over the shoulder bag for only $3 at Savers.

I'm off now to watch secret life of us on the television that I'm now allowed to use.



Wednesday, May 14, 2003

Crazy questionnaires and yard duty

Animal personality

Crow
What Is Your Animal Personality?

brought to you by Quizilla

The verdict: the curious and talking part hell yeah, the rest not really.


Animal blind date: Peacock

If you can live with his massive ego and are prepared to tell him how gorgeous he is, while he struts his funky stuff, then the peacock is for you. However, if you're looking for a lady then you may be slightly disappointed as the female of the species is the less appealing of the pair.

Treat yourselves to a day at a health spa.


The verdict: hey.......Then again it does kind of sound like Michael, ha ha.


What colour are you?


BLUE



You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuative.




Find out your color at Stvlive.com!




The verdict: If it wasn't blue I would know its not accurate at all. Do conversations about which tomatoes are the yummiest class as thoughtful conversations?

How did you go?

Why am I wasting time telling you about these? Because I don't have much more time left with my precious computer so I must use it as best as possible. Ok maybe just use it as much as possible.

It seems that I get all the dramatic stuff on my yard duty shifts. Today there was a fight between two older boys in the middle of the oval and I was the lucky one to have to break it up. The worst casualty was left with a bug bump on side of head and a cut lip. A unrelated blood nose (guess who gets to clean that up?). Another fight between the younger boys, no major casualties thankfully. Previous shifts have involved fights between girls, and cleaning up vomit. Please, please, please don't allow me to have one with toileting problems next time.

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

I went to Shepparton yesterday for a day trip. Why you ask? Well a) It was to take Erin to her job interview there and b) it was a way for me to get away and do something different for my day off.

Its good thing I did get away because the last 24 hours have been crazy.

First: I received a email from a male friend of my friend yesterday who chose not to speak to me the last month or two and finally got some sort of explanation: he has feelings for me. Ahhh where to go from there?

I also had quite a interesting conversation with Michael (sorry too personal for blog) and I got fired from one of my jobs(I had three and now have two).

So Shepparton allowed quite alot of thinking time and thanks to a very generous Erin I got a very nice creme ice shadow (see her blog for more details).

I've decided that my being fired was a blessing in disguise well maybe not a very good disguise. Since I've been speaking about quitting since day one. Plus it allows me a weekend free. The question left is: what to do with all that spare time now?

I'm sure I'll think of something.
Self control?

World Vision 40 hour famine


Technology Shutdown

If you don’t skip food, then you can shut down your technology for 40 hours. All of it!
No mobile phone or SMS
No electronic games
No TV
No computer or Internet (unless visiting the 40hourfamine.com!)

...for 40 hours!

I'm going to try.

Which one do you think is easier to give up food or technology?


Friday, May 09, 2003


Notice something different on my blog?

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

I had a near panic attack today, why you ask- because of all the up and downs in my life?

No because I was having computer problems again, twice in one week I just can't handle it. Last time it was due to a power failure this time however it was a different story:

I called up my boyfriend who might I add has a background in computer programming and his advice(or question) is have you tried re-starting it? How many times have I called IT at work or Optusnet helpline only to be asked that question, to which everytime I reply yes of course. See i've learned that if nothing else if the computer is frozen, not doing what you want it to do, is just a little off colour, re start the computer. Yes some say it could make the problem worse but deep down i know that this a fear people try to spread so that not everyone knows this little secret of mine. He then replies (now sit down for this: this is four years or is five now? of computer science advice at its best) re-start it again. To which i reply (being a expert on the matter) that i have re-started it three time already. This is serious problem here if three lots of re-starting and my friendly virus scanner can't do anything.

I start getting really anxious now, i need my computer darling i tell him, i explain again the problem no keyboard and while i love my mouse i can't function without the keyboard. All three locks are one the num lock, caps lock, and scroll lock. Could it be the scroll lock i ask? He then asks if the keyboard is plugged in. After much playing around I basically unplug everything and plug it in and problem solved. God i love computers if only life could be so simple. Not having a good day, relationships problems, money problems just re start, and then re start again.

I'm not really sure where all the time goes on my computer but i suppose all the checking, replying and sending emails much of which I blame on a long distant relationship. I don't want to even beign to tell you how many times i check my email a day. Then theres my blog. I think its amazing that I have trouble keeping a written journal yet can keep you (don't you feel lucky), theres also recipe related stuff, often i'll need some sort of motivation want to check a recipe etc. Theres also reading The Age online. Not to mention the occassional venture into a few forums such as Veggieboards.

Isn't strange that I still havn't perfected great typing skills, sure I can type fast but pretty inaccurate.

OK so I'm a net girl, a e-grrl, a geek, call it what you want, I officially out myself.


Wednesday, April 30, 2003

Graduation day

I graduated yesterday and to my surprise I actually enjoyed it. Everyone warned me how long and boring the night is and maybe because i was expected that i was pleasantly suprised. The moment I put on the gown my excitement began despite the poo brown (someone weird idea of a colour called buff) coloured sash (whatever its called). I felt extra special having a white collar on my sash to signify that I was graduating with honours not just your average undergrad student. It was great to catch up with the few people that were graduating from my degree and find out what they where all doing. The moment of recieving my award went extremely quick (probably a good thing), but the build up was great with all that anxiety, and excitement amongst friends.

I especially loved watching the doctorate and phd students recieve their awards, listening to their thesis abstracts, watching as their family and friends cheer them on as their new title (dr) was announced. Seeing all of that and speaking to a friend whos doing her phd at moment I couldn't help thinking about going back to study to get my doctorate, yes i am possibly crazy for thinking about it, but its only another three years, and i now have so many things i want to research, and well i guess.... ok you have it I love being a student. I won't however go back for several reasons the most important being money.

Even the cheesy photo opprotunties that went on for about a hour afterward i enjoyed. My family and myself ended up being the final ones to leave, as we decided last minute that i wanted to buy all sorts of goodies there (cerificate related). My mother (god i love her) then had the idea that she take me to vegetarian orgasm for two delicious pieces of vegan cake, which are as the name suggest orgasmic. Despite the excellent night i did feel one persons absense (i wonder who).

After all that and after adjusting to getting up early for work, i went home more exhausted than i can ever remember with very sore shoulders (did i mention the robe starts to really weigh down on you towards the end). I think its time to graduate to sleep now.

Sunday, April 27, 2003

Today was mixed with all sorts of events. It started in the afternoon with the family babercue. These are events as a vegan I generally dread for the simple reason that my grandma is still coming to terms with my veganism (its been a year). Shes convinced i'm not getting enough iron/calcium/protein, the usual things people ask about. My other grandmother actually come to my defence today (well not in front of me but she told me about it) she told her i'm pretty clued up on it and how I search all these sorts of things on the internet.

Pretty accurate description. While google is my best friend I also have about 10 books on nutrition/food and did more than my fair share of reading up on the topic before I make the choice, in fact I made the choice for health reasons. I had a running joke with my partner when I was doing my thesis about how if I spent half as much time and effort (not to mention passion) as did reading up on nutriton and food related things as my thesis I would had my thesis finished 6 months earlier. I'm constantly coming out with food facts that i'm sure I bore my family and friends to death. For example, did you know that: a large serving of hummus provides all your protein needs for the day (if teamed with pita bread), half of your zinc needs, and a quarter of your iron requirements for the day.

I chatted with stu (on net) three times a day (well a uk day thanks to the time difference) all thanks to my obession with getting the comments section on page. Which is finally done and even in the right spot. I'm so proud of me! Stu's inspired me to see more of my own country, next destination will be Cairns, I promise. Well when I can afford it anyway.

I also caught up with a old friend and watched 'how to lose a guy in ten days' which made me laugh. Called Erin. and spoke to her for about hour and a hour (sorry, I swear it was only meant to be a 5 minute conservation).

About 10 minutes ago I made chocolate spiders. (although I use smooth peanut butter instead of crunchy), such a quick snack to make to satisfy my choc cravings and vegan too. I'm writing this blog as i'm waiting for them to cool and I think there ready, so goodbye all.

Saturday, April 26, 2003

"The soul is healed by being with children"- Fyodor Dostoevsky

Fyodor experienced the death of both his mother(at only 16) and father(at age 18), was arrested and sentenced to death, spent four years in hard labour(wearing fetters),went on to experience the death of his first wife and brother, Apollinaria Suslova(whom he had an affair with and whom he considered his intellectual equal) declined his marriage proposal. He was also plagued by debts and frequent epileptic seizures. Perhaps as a result of his debts he become a obessive gambler. Furthermore, his first child Sophia lived for only three months.

My point is this: this man (who's quote I love) experienced his fair share of hardship yet believes that the soul (even one as damaged as his) can be healed by being with children.

Keep in mind however that I do not know the context in which his famous quote first appeared, if someone does please let me know.

I'm off now to visit all my younger gorgeous soul healing cousins.



Wednesday, April 23, 2003

I figure i should continue blogging as I have done previously rather than start again.

So here goes. Everyone is going crazy here about me giving them sars. I don't have sars. Yes I did visit a country that has sars victims but I am not one of those people nor did I come into contact with those people. Please be reasonable. Its not even that contagious.

I'm still jetlagged so i'll write more tommorrow.

bye bye.