Blogging about anything and everything but mostly food(vegan) related.
Saturday, May 31, 2003
Strange people in the street around the corner from where I live, two women are fascinated by watching me drive by even after I've gone past them they look back at me. I went past again on the way back about 30 minutes later their still standing there staring.
I'm going to do the regrettable. I feel like crap right now not sadness, not anger just a state of weird trance type confusion. I don't want to think about this too much because I don't want some scientific answer or theory to explain it (yes including any psychology). I feel numb. I hate all this stuff with Mr M I need to move on or go back or something. I know what i should do and i know what I want to do but there not the same thing. I just want him in the same damm country, I want a hug.
I'm filled with so many why's most of which i don't think I want the answer to. I need time out from everything from thinking about this from trying too hard re anything to do with Mr M.
I need a holiday instead I have a busy weekend. Two parties tonight a new hair cut to match my new colour (which I love). Another party tommorrow in which i barely know anyone. A avril concert (yeha i know...)i'm taking my little sis to for her birthday present. Its going to be one interesting weekend considering my mood.
I know it will get better, I know it will sort it out. I know that next week, or tommorrow I will be different or maybe even tonight but that doesn't stop me from feeling or stop my feelings from being mine and important to me right now.
I've just discovered nutritional yeast. Well not exactly, I've been using it for quite some time but only for a few recipes that called for it, until tonight when I finally tried it on popcorn: yummmmo
Why hasn't anyone told me about it before? (ok so maybe a few have).
So what is it you ask? I know there a probably a few of who havn't even heard of it. I can't find a adequate link to justify it right now however i will expand on it later, maybe someone else can recommend a good link. In the meantime you'll just have to check it out at the local health food store. Basically though its a vegan must have.
I watched MicroCosmos tonight as part of a fundraiser thing at RMIT . Such a amazing film, it really does foster a new respect towards all sorts of insects. Although I must admit that my fear of spiders is just as bad, if not worse after watching a spider up and close (certainly too close for comfort) capture a grasshopper. Who would have thought that a documentary about insects could contain violence, sex, and humour?
On sat a friend of mine asked me if I was interested in a room at his place which will be vacant shortly. Not only would it save me from the craziness of my family household but its also a gorgeous little house in a great location and I think he would be a pretty cool roommate too. I wanted desperately to scream 'yes, when can I move in?' Instead I had to decline the offer, sob sob.
At least while I was studying I could reply that i'm simply a 'poor student'. Now i'm just plain old POOR.
I have about $5 left til pay day on thursday and its also car expenses time of the year again. Arghhhhh.
So job hunting time again (I really do need two jobs or one better paying one).
On a more positive note though I've just realised that I have all the ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies, forget the image of the thin Kristy ha ha.
To help pass some time (without any cost) I've discovered some really odd things to do for free at Bored. Anyone else have any suggestions?
Only two people were informed initially of my blog whereabouts and that's the way I wanted it. Then I told a few others. You see one of the main reasons for starting the blog was to help maintain a long distance relationship between myself and my partner. Since we've now seperated and he added my blog address on the Australian weblogs page I figure I should tell a few others.
So welcome Amber, Bryce, Mark and whoever else comes to look at my blog.
However, people if you are going to read my blog please post a comment just so that I know your there.
For the record I decided to continue the blog after the end of my relationship because I realise how much I enjoy writing it. Down the track I can see myself reading back and reflecting on what has happened over the year and besides it also allows others to know what's going on in my life (if your that bored).
Anyhow, my discovery for the night was pesto bread. I'm a big fan of various breads (well toast technically) including: garlic, sundried tomato-garlic, marmite/butter/sesame seeded combo, and herb bread. If anymore can think of another good bread idea please let me know.
Yes I survived without technology for 40 hours. I was forced to survive without my beloved computer even longer since it decided on Thursday that it didn't want to start up: $130 and four days later and we're finally reunited. It wasn't easy people and was I quite bored on Sat.
I was told this weekend that I'm 'the blogging type'
'what type?' I replied
'well you know.... your open and.... friendly'
Not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or not.
A very special thanks to my amazing Russian (ha ha) friend Amber for putting up with lots of complaining from me on friday and for helping me to find a new black over the shoulder bag for only $3 at Savers.
I'm off now to watch secret life of us on the television that I'm now allowed to use.
If you can live with his massive ego and are prepared to tell him how gorgeous he is, while he struts his funky stuff, then the peacock is for you. However, if you're looking for a lady then you may be slightly disappointed as the female of the species is the less appealing of the pair.
Treat yourselves to a day at a health spa.
The verdict: hey.......Then again it does kind of sound like Michael, ha ha.
The verdict: If it wasn't blue I would know its not accurate at all. Do conversations about which tomatoes are the yummiest class as thoughtful conversations?
How did you go?
Why am I wasting time telling you about these? Because I don't have much more time left with my precious computer so I must use it as best as possible. Ok maybe just use it as much as possible.
It seems that I get all the dramatic stuff on my yard duty shifts. Today there was a fight between two older boys in the middle of the oval and I was the lucky one to have to break it up. The worst casualty was left with a bug bump on side of head and a cut lip. A unrelated blood nose (guess who gets to clean that up?). Another fight between the younger boys, no major casualties thankfully. Previous shifts have involved fights between girls, and cleaning up vomit. Please, please, please don't allow me to have one with toileting problems next time.
I went to Shepparton yesterday for a day trip. Why you ask? Well a) It was to take Erin to her job interview there and b) it was a way for me to get away and do something different for my day off.
Its good thing I did get away because the last 24 hours have been crazy.
First: I received a email from a male friend of my friend yesterday who chose not to speak to me the last month or two and finally got some sort of explanation: he has feelings for me. Ahhh where to go from there?
I also had quite a interesting conversation with Michael (sorry too personal for blog) and I got fired from one of my jobs(I had three and now have two).
So Shepparton allowed quite alot of thinking time and thanks to a very generous Erin I got a very nice creme ice shadow (see her blog for more details).
I've decided that my being fired was a blessing in disguise well maybe not a very good disguise. Since I've been speaking about quitting since day one. Plus it allows me a weekend free. The question left is: what to do with all that spare time now?
I had a near panic attack today, why you ask- because of all the up and downs in my life?
No because I was having computer problems again, twice in one week I just can't handle it. Last time it was due to a power failure this time however it was a different story:
I called up my boyfriend who might I add has a background in computer programming and his advice(or question) is have you tried re-starting it? How many times have I called IT at work or Optusnet helpline only to be asked that question, to which everytime I reply yes of course. See i've learned that if nothing else if the computer is frozen, not doing what you want it to do, is just a little off colour, re start the computer. Yes some say it could make the problem worse but deep down i know that this a fear people try to spread so that not everyone knows this little secret of mine. He then replies (now sit down for this: this is four years or is five now? of computer science advice at its best) re-start it again. To which i reply (being a expert on the matter) that i have re-started it three time already. This is serious problem here if three lots of re-starting and my friendly virus scanner can't do anything.
I start getting really anxious now, i need my computer darling i tell him, i explain again the problem no keyboard and while i love my mouse i can't function without the keyboard. All three locks are one the num lock, caps lock, and scroll lock. Could it be the scroll lock i ask? He then asks if the keyboard is plugged in. After much playing around I basically unplug everything and plug it in and problem solved. God i love computers if only life could be so simple. Not having a good day, relationships problems, money problems just re start, and then re start again.
I'm not really sure where all the time goes on my computer but i suppose all the checking, replying and sending emails much of which I blame on a long distant relationship. I don't want to even beign to tell you how many times i check my email a day. Then theres my blog. I think its amazing that I have trouble keeping a written journal yet can keep you (don't you feel lucky), theres also recipe related stuff, often i'll need some sort of motivation want to check a recipe etc. Theres also reading The Age online. Not to mention the occassional venture into a few forums such as Veggieboards.
Isn't strange that I still havn't perfected great typing skills, sure I can type fast but pretty inaccurate.
OK so I'm a net girl, a e-grrl, a geek, call it what you want, I officially out myself.