We make hundreds of decisions every day.

So many without thinking.

So many out of habit.

So many without hesitation.

But then there are the bigger more obvious ones like where should i should spent the next year of my life?

They are the ones that scream at you, that you spent sleepless nights thinking about, that seem to be there in the pit of the stomach when you wake up.

I'm hesitating yes.

I'm torn.

I don't want to regret this one.

I simply don't know what i want.

culture smulture

So he's chinese and i'm not

well apparently its a little more of an issue that i thought:

he commented early on that he doesn't know how his parents will react to hearing about me

a chinese friend i've mine has said she will never date someone who isn't chinese

another friend of mine has said that i shouldn't mistake a holiday romance for a romance

someone else has said 'what your dating a local guy, i've never even done that'

and the stares, we get alot of stares being together out in public

More...

He has the most beautiful fascinating hands with incredibly long fingers

he squeezes my hand or comfortably pats me on the back every time i cough (which is a lot lately)

and today he rode the mtr (train) all the way to Mongkok (like 5 extra stations) with me just to spend extra time with me (like seeing each other 5 days in a row isn't enough) and keep me company before having to return through the same 5 stations alone

and he wanted to walk a couple of extra blocks today to put the plastic bottles in a recycling container


Hong Kong is a completely different experience for me now.

So much more beautiful...

Nothing is everything

Me home sick
him over
eating avocado, tomato and pine nuts with bread
lots of hugs
him practicing bass
while i rest, read and occasionally watch
drinking lots of tea
and just hanging out
doing not much at all (so unlike me)

so lazy

so perfect

Decisions, decisions, decisions

I spoke to Petula today about living with her

which would be great

but I really need to decide how long i'm going to stay here for

but the problem is i really do have a love/hate relationship with the place

If only i could combine all the good aspects of HKwith all the good aspects of Melbourne.

If only...

Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Of course my four day weekend where I have the house to myself is ruined by this ridiculous disgusting phlegmy cough.

I always seem to be sick here. Ok the last time i caused it upon myself with alcohol and i guess i haven't been taking good care of myself lately either eating lots of soy chocolate choc chip ice cream, green and blacks chocolate, pretzels and vo cake. As well as up staying up late everynight chatting with a certain someone. Plus all my students don't seem to understand covering their mouths when they cough and/or sneeze.

Toby (see previous two entries) has been great offering to come and take care of me. But who wants to be seen at their worst- all miserable inside and out by someone you like especially in the early stages of relationship? I really appreciate his determination to try though and his Chinese medicine advice and general support via text messages. Pretty impressive that he evens has time to consider me or my health since he is working such crazy hours (til 2am). Being taken care of when sick is something very very high on my list of required qualities in a partner. So high that when a certain ex was un-empathetic i considering breaking it off with him straight away .

Yes i admit it i'm a big baby when i'm sick.

The goss

He's:

Chinese
very tall
a vegan
plays bass in band
does yoga

and is generally a sweet cool guy.

Uh huh

After a couple of weeks i've trying to analyse the mixed messages I was getting.

My question was finally answered this evening:

by a major make out session in the kitchen.

Don't won't to say too much yet.

Don't want to jinx it.

Not just a book

This lovely woman referred me to this book:

A language older than words

and i love it. Its so raw, so emotional and so true in so many ways.

While i don't agree with everything, he raises so many great points:

On religion:

" It is easier to listen to the voice of God than it is listen to the voice of one's conscience."

"A primary purpose of Judeo-Christian culture has not been to move us toward a community where the teaching of someone like Jesus- simple and necessary suggestions for how to get along with each other- are made manifest in all aspects of life, but instead to provide a theological framework for a system of exploitation'

From my fav chapter (Silencing):

"Think for a moment about the figure i gave earlier: twenty-five percent of all women in this culture are raped dung their lifetimes. One out of four. Next, think for a moment about the number of children beaten, or of the hundred and fifty million, one hundred and fifty million- enslaved, carrying bricks, chained to looms, chained to beds. If you were not one of the women raped, if you were not one of the children beaten, if you were not one of the children enslaved, these numbered probably don't mean much to you. This is understandable. Consider your own life, the ways you deny your own experience, the ways you have to deaden your empathies to get through the day"

"We don't stop these atrocities, because we don't talk about them. We don't talk about them, because we don't think about them, because they're too horrific to comprehend".

Thank you Emma!