Have a very merry xmas

and an awesome new year!

My two front teeth

He got the last seat on the flight to melb

what more could a girl ask for?

Stuff

Toby might be coming her for xmas and new years eve-a whole week in melb. Trying to not get my hopes up too much yet.

Went and seen the killers last night and was pleasantly surprised. They are not in my list of all- time fav bands but were a lot of fun to watch despite being in too big of a venue(the palace) with too many people. The atmosphere was great apart from a few who thought that it was ok to dance by elbowing the people behind you.

Have almost finished xmas shopping. One more gift to go and of course I need to organise the shipping of tobys gift/s if he's not coming (will find out on mon).

Since he might be coming i thought i might actually make something to go along with the roasted veggies for xmas lunch. Possibly this.

Vertigo

This morning i woke up with pretty bad vertigo

i actually questioned whether I was cursed with all the bad luck i've been having

and then i spent an hour cursing the lack of doctors in the western suburbs

after calling 16 doctors with no luck (either not taking new patients or need to wait a day or two for an appointment) i was able to be squeezed in with my mothers connection at 5.40pm

so i went to work

my luck changed at about 4pm when i check my phone (on silent) and discovered i had voicemail

the voicemail message made me so happy that the smile on my face before i even finished listening gave it away to one my fav colleagues

i jumped in the air

my colleague hi- fived me

and i hugged him

i was so unbeliveably happy

Yes, I got into Masters!

WTF?

I have put on weight

about 5 kilos

yes me

the one who people generally tease for being too thin.

my male friend actually said to me a few months ago 'if you put on a bit of weight you would be more attractive'

when i was younger i was teased so much about being 'anorexic' that i wanted to put on weight

not now though , now- well before i was happy with myself

i don't understand how after 20 something years of life i've suddenly put on weight

my little sister who has always been on the chuppy side now weighs less than me

granted after returning here i drive everywhere rather than walk everywhere as i did in hk

that and i don't eat as healthy here

arghhhhhhhhh

but that means from now i will have to think about my weight like 90% of the aus population

fucking great

on the plus size my weight has meant an increase in womanly parts of the body (yes i've actually gone up a size)- that i can handle

but a stomach

yuck!

I'm about ready to jump and down and throw a tantrum right now at least i feel i should

in the car driving today i even made a loud fake crying noise which made me feeel a teeny bit better (something along the lines of aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhahahahhhhh)

god knows my poor co-workers have heard enough complaining too

and toby probably is starting to forget happy- non complaining me

the problem is: all i want for xmas is toby

the problem is he can't come for xmas

and its not his fault

its not my faullt

its his works fault

bastards

well according to him its not his work 'its just production'

see thats the problem with being rational and mature you can't blame anyone- theres no one to direct all your anger and frustration at.

mind you i have known this for a while

but every single day it hurts me a little more and as i get closer and closer to xmas

not only will he miss xmas but also new years, valentines day, my birthday , our anniversary and lots of cool music shows.

i want to be sharing

i'm sick of having seperate lifes

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

the other major thing which is relatively crappy in my life is that i don't think i got into masters (i should have heard by now) which in turn means i'm stuck doing wonderful jobs like working in call centres

the main reason i returned was to do masters

yes life is bloody great

Mun sum mo quai
(rough translation:ask heart without shame?)

i have two more cantonese classes before i finish the beginner classes

i drove one of the other classmates sarah home today and we chatted about the challenges that face chinese in laws (her s.o is australia chinese)

we both agreed that between visa problems and problems with future in laws that if it weren't for the fact that we both loved our partners an incredible amount we would just give up

we also chatted about horrible long distant relationships

arghhhhhhhh won't even start

-------------------------------------------------

wed was a crazy day for the whole fam!

i had my masters interview

mum had an operation

and my bro was supposed to find out about work cover stuff

all three went ok-ish. i discovered in the interview that this is something that i do really want

i find out by the end of the week if i'm accepted

the plan at the moment is if i get in he moves here

if not i go back to HK for two years and re-apply

its all in fates hands now