Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Engagement or Marriage does not equal commitment or happiness

This is something that continually frustrates me. Particularly when I hear things like 'I feel sorry for x she has been with y for 8 years and he still hasn't proposed' or 'I wouldn't stay with someone for that long if he didn't propose'.

For all we know x and y have a loving, respectful, committed, amazing relationship but don't see the point in an outdated tradition.

A piece of paper or an expensive blood diamond ring or $30,000 spent on one day doesn't mean a couple will stay together or that they will always be happy or that both are going to be faithful.

I don't understand how marriage or engagement means so much to people when the divorce rate is so high.

I guess you could call me a hypocrite on that one since I am engaged but I think it allows me to speak from another angle. Being engaged changed nothing in our relationship nor do I think a wedding will. Mr T moving here was more of a commitment that any proposal or wedding. Even before he moved here or proposed I felt more comfortable and confident about our relationship than in another relationship where marriage was discussed quite seriously.

It really frustrates me that people still feel sorry for women who are in relationships with men who do not propose to them. Maybe they doesn't want to get married. Speaking of which, Mr T and I still don't know if we actually want any sort of wedding.


claire said...

To me, Marriage is not the ultimate expression of love. Like you say, when so many end in divorce it is surprising that so many people view it as the thing to do.

kristy said...

Claire, I think you and Dave are the perfect example of a happy couple who don't need to get married.