Monday, March 02, 2009

Are we still in the in the 1950s?

Bettina Arndt could have me fooled with her argument that married women should have sex with their husbands even if they don't feel like it. It's even more shocking because it's coming from a women.


cristy said...

Oh I am so sick of this feminist backlash. It's gross.

lisa said...

I agree, but I don't think it's more shocking because it comes from a woman. Because if I thought that, it would mean it would be excusable in a guy 'because he's just a guy', and I don't think that men should get concessions like that. We all have a duty to be and act in an equal and respectful way towards fellow humanoids.

Theresa said...

How disgusting. I really hate the notion that men have some biological need for sex. Our society is far too focused on sex (a very particular kind of sex) at every turn to distinguish nature from nurture, so I wish people would stop using that argument. Also, it just allows us to brush off bad behaviour, because "boys will be boys". It's all such bullshit.

Miss T said...

Although I tend to read I Blame The Patriarchy for interest rather than agreement, Twisty Faster did have some interesting points about Arndt's comment that: “The notion that women have to want sex to enjoy it has been a really misguided idea that has caused havoc in relationships over the last 40 years.”

Although I know that when Twisty paraphrases this comment as "Because women, whose libidos universally deviate so drastically from the norm, secretly yearn to be raped!", she is using 'rape' in the RadFem sense (sex within the patriarchy), I wouldn't go so far -Arndt clearly means 'want' as in desire, not consent (I think she means that you can start enjoying it as it happens, even if you weren't in the mood to begin with). But geez. What a bloody stupid thing to say. We should all just do it for the sake of intimacy, which will supposedly be created by us sighing, slipping off our undies and just letting him get on with it?

It's kind of insulting to men too (not to get into Twisty's "what about the me" category!). If I were a bloke I'd hate to think that my partner was having sex with me even though she didn't want to, just because 'it's good for our relationship' and because I wanted it. Apart from being the ultimate anti-aphrodisiac, I'd feel very selfish indeed and would resent the implication that I was driven purely by my testes.

Amy said...

I just read the article (and the blog) on smh. Seriously. So. Angry. Right. Now.

I love that women are supposedly just meant to give in to their husbands - they'll enjoy it if they give it a go - BULLSHIT!

I have to say The Joy of Sex gives much better relationship advice than this chick. (the new version is fantastic)

kristy said...

Lisa, I don't think that it would be acceptable for a guy to have that attitude at all. Just it seems worse somehow that this women is being so sexist towards her own sex.

Miss T, I agree it is insulting towards men too. I would hate to think that any partner really wasn't in the mood but forced themselves to have sex with me anyway.

Amy, will have to check it out!