A double decker bus in HK.Keeping your surname is a sin to some.
Also inspired by something from Carnival of Feminists which is currently being hosted by sour duck, Shrub has posted a quite a lengthy list of statements on why 'We Can't Be Equal While...'. I found i could relate to quite a few, but one that stroke a big chord with me at the moment is:
For different-sex couples, women are expected to take their husband's name, or at the very least hyphenate, but many men still balk at the idea of even considering adopting their wife's name.
I am not taking Mr T's name.
As a result I constantly have to explain or rather defend my actions. The biggest question is 'what about your kids?' to which i have started to reply with 'sorry you might have me confused with someone else, i don't think i ever mentioned plans to have children'. Yes there is a big assumption that marriage= kids. But that's another story. And anyway, they still want to know just in case I do have children somewhere far far away in the future. In case you are one of those non-creative people who can't imagine how a family could possibly cope if the mother and father actually had separate names, there are other options: that boys taking his name, girls mine, or hyphenated names.
I have been accused of being racist. Mr T Chinese and so I supposedly don't want to sound like I am Chinese when i'm not, my middle name could Chinese too, so my whole name would sound very Chinese. But NO that’s why!
But that’s not the worst part.
My brothers ex-girlfriend asked me 'why?' and i said 'why should i change it?' to which she replied 'because you love him'.
A prominent pro feminist blogger recently commented that he felt trusted as a result of his new wife taking his surname.
Many have said in quite a condescending way 'how does he feel about that?'.
What the fuck? Because I choose not to follow a pointless patriarchal tradition I'm accused of being racist and it is inadvertently suggested that I don't trust or love him. So i take vows in front of all of family and friends saying that I want to make a lifelong commitment to him. But I don't love or trust him?
Poor Mr T!
No women still don't have equal rights.
You might as well burn me at the stake now!
4 comments:
Another "good for you!" here. I didn't take my husband's name. And because he is, in fact, the Man I Love, he doesn't think I should take his name either. So far, the only person who has given me a hard time about it is my mother, but she's probably just mad that she didn't think of it herself.
jlp, well said!
Mr T finds the idea of another woman taking his name to be quite strange too, but that doesn't stop everyone from feeling sorry for him.
Btw, jlp whats your secret blog address?
Good for u, JLP!
I'll e-mail it to you. And then you'll be sorry you asked!
Post a Comment